Ever get annoyed? Ever feel like someone needs to be told where the dog died? Or handed a crowbar and a tub of Elbow Grease to help them pry their head out of their arse? Congratulations--you've come to the right place.

And when I'm not commenting on the latest thing to piss me off, I'm trying to figure out my own twisted life. Because, hey, I'm like that.

On a gentler note: for anyone dealing with depression, anxiety, and other assorted bullshit: You are NOT alone.

And if you're looking for a laugh, search on the key word "fuckery." It's just my little thing (as the bishop said to the actress).

Sunday, January 23, 2011

What Are We Going to Do Tonight, Empress?

The same thing we do EVERY night, blurkers... try to take over the world!

(With apologies to one of the greatest animated series ever, The Animaniacs.)

I spent two plus hours on the phone last night with one of my oldest friends, Ferd. Ferd is a God among friends--that poor bastard has put up with me for almost thirty years. (We met not long after birth... YEAH, RIGHT!) We became friends our frosh year at St. Clements by virtue of being stuck in a lot of the same classes together, including the misery of Mr. Lynch's French class. I went into that class enthusiastic, eager, DYING to learn the lovely French language. By the end of the year, it was my favorite blow-off class. I actually stop studying for vocabulary quizzes and did a challenge to see if I could get him to catch me cheating. (He did, eventually, but it took him two months. I laughed, took the zero, and didn't give a shit. I proved my point and still got an A in the class.) Mr. Lynch was a sad creature. I mean, you know you're in trouble when even the freshmen give you shit. And showing up to teach in plaid pants in 1981... not the smartest sartorial choice on the planet. We had a good time in that class--didn't learn a lot of French, mind you, but some of my favorite memories of high school come from that class... Talking Cheese, Steve G.'s Great Leap to Freedom... and I became a crackshot with a rubber band thanks to a lot of practice.
Ferd is the only one of my old high school chums that I've stayed in regular, constant contact. We've done a lot of theatre together, something for which he forgave me a long time ago. If all goes well, I hope we're going to be able to revive the radio theatre company. Tangents Radio Theatre was a hoot and a half. I wish we still had video from the Bump in the Night show--it was brilliant. Would have given a cup size to have seen the mayhem Ken and Kevin got up to, destroying a chair as part of the sound effects for "The Fall of the House of Usher." (There was a 2" shard of wood embedded in the wall when they were through. AWESOME!)
Anyway, the Ferdinator and I have been talking for almost a year about my website. I own a domain--madmadameriz.com--it's been mine since 2003--but I never got around to building a website because I really didn't have a reason to. For real. I mean, if I'm going to spend money to have a web site out there, I want it to be there for a reason besides just existing, y'know?
Well, Broom Closet and the Kinsale Chronicles have given me a reason to finally get my arse in gear, and Ferd offered to build a super-duper ultra-awesome website because that's what he does as his sideline. He'd like it to be his main line, and honestly, I hope that between my website and the one he's building for another friend (that one is going to be INSANELY amazing, but I can't say who, what or where until it goes live and then will promote the fuck out of it!) he'll be on his way towards that.
We've had periodic discussions over the past seven months about what's going to be on there--last summer, he introduced me to the concept of podcasting as a way to do readings and promotions, and considering that some of the consistent feedback I got about the first draft was the question of whether or not people will get my rather dry and sarcastic sense of humor, I really began to see the value in the idea. Sooo... hopefully, by the end of February, my website is going to be live with my sexy black and pink logo, a writing-specific blog (this one will not go away; this is my space to talk about WTF I want to without worrying about being censored or censured. Taking shit is a different story), merchandise (because who doesn't love merch?), news, podcasts, performances, freebies (in terms of snippets), and other marketing opportunities.
Yes, I said "other marketing opportunities." That's the purpose of the website--marketing the work. Because honestly, I have to get the hell out of my current sitch before I go postal.
Well, not totally postal--I'm against violence and guns, for one thing--but I am ready to just scream. Part of me wants to investigate working for the Evil Empire; part of me wants to set up shop reading Tarot and working Voodoo part-time and being a barista part-time. It has to be less stressful.
So, there you have it. BTW, Ferd is the guy kneeling down next to his sexy blue Fender. Dennis is the other guy. Two damn good friends. :-)

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