Post-vacation Crash Rant

So I've been back in the States for less than a week and the post-Nova Scotia blues just hit full force.
I've been writing multiple blog posts in my head (I know, does no good there) over the past couple of weeks, but just haven't had the oomph to write them. I get it, depression. Understood. However, it's more than that. I was OK for a while because I thought I was going back in September--was going to hit the Jim Jefferies show at the Wilbur, hop in the car, and haul ass for Halifax and The Hill encampment so I could see all of my friends again.
Not happening--for a lot of reasons, most of them monetary. But it hurts like hell. I miss my NS people desperately, and the only reason to be back here are the good people in my life.
I really hate coming back here, and I've realized why: lack of community. Lack of cooperation. And the fact that Americans are the biggest bunch of spoiled, lazy, fucking brats on the planet. (More on that later.)
I spent the last weekend of July in my version of heaven on earth: the Annapolis Valley. Most of it was spent at a living history encampment of the 84th Regiment at Fort Anne in the piss-pouring rain. In full 18th century dress (which I am not doing again unless I'm in drag--there's something going on with my abs that are making anything tight incredibly horrible). I'm going to do a full post on the encampment--a happy post, because this is NOT a happy post and it was a happy experience. What I left the encampment with was a feeling of community--of being a part, even if on the periphery--of a solid community which watched out for its own and welcomed others willing to commit and give back.
I am not a crunchberry--while I believe that yes, we are bloody irresponsible in our use of resources and hate the disposable society in which we live, I am also as guilty as the next person of not being as responsible as I could be in making things better. However, having worked in the People's Republic of Cambridge for over two decades and dealing with starry-eyed fascists who shoved their politics and naive idealism down my throat until I choked... yeah. I believe in being responsible. What that means is that I eat the cow AND wear leather because the idea of wasting the animal is repugnant. I honor the sacrifice; I also accept that it's a part of the cycle of existence. I will be cremated because my remains will not be allowed to break down naturally and enrich the earth (although, being born in the late 20th century and raised on crap food for 40 years, I'd be worried about what would leach out that would poison the earth). The re-enactors I was with are probably the best example of effective use of resources I have ever come face-to-face with: all natural fibers, thrift store shopping, items mended, repurposed, passed down, passed along... nothing going to waste.
Chortling over "Frenchy's Finds"--stuff found at thrift stores for cheap money, perfectly good stuff that other people threw away, given new life. If you didn't have goods, you gave services--cooking, child-watching, help with a tent, whatever. Cooperation.
The cooperation extended beyond the encampment--whether it was just having coffee, help with moving stuff, advice, whatever--the community continues over.
I miss that community desperately. I miss having a cup of coffee in the afternoon and a yak-yak over a snack. I miss having people to meet up with and just be. I miss the Nova Scotian common sense and acceptance of life and limitations--and the indomitable will to just keep going and make things work, somehow.
Because you have to.
I got a little sick of the anti-American sentiment (actually, I got a lot sick of it, and had to bite my tongue a couple of times from saying, "WELL, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU TAKE IT?!?! Close the goddamned border, stand up to the US. What the fuck are we going to do? Nuke you? We'd be killing ourselves and losing everything we need because fuck knows, drilling for oil in the Gulf isn't working, we've decimated our forests, and most of our top entertainers are imported from either Canada or the UK); I got sick of apologizing for American stupidity, not just because I was annoyed with the fact that I know a lot of people who are NOT like what gets shown on the TV--most of the people I know are decent human beings who are doing their best. The other reason I got sick of it is because I'm sick of our diseased society.
And here begins the rant. Sit down or click off, kids, because the Empress is about to throw down: Dear America: Please WAKE THE FUCK UP AND PULL YOUR COLLECTIVE HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE. I don't give a rat's nadgers what you classify yourself as--liberal, conservative, progressive, Green, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, what-the-fuck-EVER. GROW UP. Our government is in the pocket of corporations and very, very wealthy people who have directed us on a course of self-destruction that will make the fall of Rome look like a backyard game of tug-o-war because, thanks to technology, we have far more destructive toys than our Roman forebears ever did.
The world economy is collapsing because of irresponsibility and laziness. Because we want to go farther, faster, quicker, sooner, without regard for the consequences. Somewhere along the line, we forgot there were consequences for our actions, or, to use the physics formula, for every action there is a direct opposite REaction. The human race, in its race to advance, has condemned itself, and no society greater exemplifies this than the US.
And it breaks my fucking heart. We have an AMAZING country, founded on an incredible visionary law code, on a philosophy that believes we are all capable of achievement, of raising ourselves up and being better than what we were at the beginning.
As a society, we have lost sight of this. Over the past century, we have gone from being pioneers and citizens to being spoiled, entitled brats, and there isn't an echelon of American society that isn't guilty of it, from the very rich to the very poor.
We eat over-processed food, approved by a government agency in the pockets of corporate food producers, food that is poisoning us because, while it is convenient, it lacks nutrition and introduces compounds into the body that are deadlier than bullets.
We watch corporate-produced crap on the television that more and more, isn't well-written entertainment (although that was scarce enough even before reality TV), but a glorification of all that is wrong with our society. But for a bit of attention, people are willing to sell their souls for a slice of the pie. We get the Kartrashians, heiresses little more than self-supporting whores, neglecting mothers, shallow idiots, and values that have nothing to do with common sense, common courtesy or common decency, all for Warhol's fabled fifteen minutes. How ironic a hack would come up for the label for the fall of America.
We support professional sports teams who are paid more money than any human being is worth to play games for us--rather than going out and tossing a ball around for fun, it's about who can win the scholarship, who can get signed, who can take this to the limit and get all the money. It's not about sportsmanship, it's not about athleticism, it's about money. You will not see me at Fenway, Patriot Place, or the Garden, folks. Fuck them. And fuck the owners of these franchises who are little more than modern-day slave owners--ever see Gladiator? I really am NOT entertained.
We elect politicians who talk a good game and do nothing but line their own pockets preparing for their next run for office. Hypocrites, the lot of them, particularly on the far Right--decrying everything the lowest, least-educated part of society fears while committing the same "sins" in private.
This is what is being played out in "the media"--on the television, the newspapers, the magazines, etc. This is what America broadcasts to the world--that we are a nation of lazy, stupid morons being puppeteered by corporate masters, new money who have no grasp of the concept of noblesse oblige--I may hate Bill Gates for being a plaguirizing jackass, but he has done great things with his money. He has given back. Warren Buffet is another great example. Not so Donald Trump, Rupert Murdock, the thieves of Wall Street and their ilk, and sadly, they are in the majority, takers who suck the life out of others and don't give a damn thing back, selfish idiots who have lined their pockets and bought expensive toys that use up precious resources that can't be replaced while people die because of the conditions they perpetuate.
Don't tell me Wal-Mart creates jobs and has affordable prices--I know this. What I also know is that Wal-Mart has actively worked to destroy American manufacturing in order to keep its prices low, thereby eradicating well-paying American jobs that would allow the workers to better educate themselves and their children and dear Gods, we can't have that happening.
We have an education system that is, quite frankly, piss. Great universities so obscenely priced that we have three generations who have begun their adult lives deeply in debt, the latest with little hope of paying it off in less than two decades. Primary and secondary education are now test-driven--state-sanctioned test-driven, to the point where if you don't pass the government test, you don't get the degree, therefore you don't get a job, and hey, let's talk about those crime statistics.
Are you seeing the vicious cycle we've created? And you want to cut social programs but not tax the rich motherfuckers who aren't giving a cent back to make things better. Instead, you want to cut money for the elderly, cut benefits for children and families, and in short, make the poor pay for the sin of being poor.
This is Calvanistic Puritanism at its most vile and disgusting. Think I'm kidding? Ever heard of the theory of "The Elect"? It is a philosophy at the center of many of the Protestant sects--the concept that there are a finite number of people who have been "saved"--i.e. whom God has chosen and who are going to heaven no matter what. The Elect can be identified by their fortunate lives; the damned can be identified by their unfortunate lives. In short: they ain't going to heaven, SO FUCK 'EM.
I was raised Catholic; Catholicism states that even the worst sinner can be redeemed by sincere good works (sincere meaning that the gestures come from the heart--from a genuine desire to do rightly). If you want a good example of Catholic redemption theory, see the praying scene in Hamlet--the one where Claudius is on his knees but cannot pray because he has no repentance in his heart.
I am sick at heart for all this, folks. I'm angry, I'm upset, and I am sorely disappointed in America in general. What makes it more painful is all of the wonderful people I know down here--my friends--who are trying to live their lives rightly and do right by themselves and those around them. I am tired of the fact that down here, we're doing our best, but up there... up there, they just don't give a rat's ragged arse about what's right, just about what is right for them.
So what am I doing to counteract the stupidity? To avoid the only real sin I acknowledge, i.e. hypocrisy? I'm doing my best. Trying to eat decent food, grown as locally as possible. Trying to be smart about what I buy. Using thrift stores. Repairing instead of throwing away. Passing around, not throwing out. I wish I didn't have to use the car so much, but my knees aren't allowing for walking.
I'm going to go get some coffee and see if I can find a little peace of mind. A positive vacation blog will follow--going over the really high points and giving lots of credit and kudos where it's due--but right now... right now, I need to have a good hard cry because I'm not going to get to see all of those folks again for at least a year.
while I have much to be thankful for, right now... right now, life fucking sucks.

Considering open relationships

I love my country, but I really think we should start seeing other people. - popular button

I actually don't own the button cited above, but I'm considering buying it. See, I do actually love my country--I think we have the greatest law code on the planet in the form of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights--however, I also feel like the American Empire is crumbling and going the way of ancient Rome. The barbarians aren't at the gates, though; we've atrophied and are crumbling from within.

I've always questioned authority and government; it comes from growing up in a family full of Kennedy Democrats. I have memories of Nixon on the television (Jack was a news junkie; if it wasn't sports on the damn telly, it was the news. Cable was the bane of our existence in Hell's Vestibule), and my grandfather hollering, "Impeach the bastard!" (If you ever wondered where I learned my habit of yelling at the TV and talking back to the radio, yeah--I acquired it from Jack.) After I started to make friends from other countries and actually get out of the U.S., I really got a taste of how the rest of the world views us.

And how myopic most Americans are.

It makes me sad. See, we used to be a great country--we used to be if not the best, at least we were pretty damn good.

Not any more. I haven't read up enough on the horrible incident in Arizona to comment too deeply, but it sounds like the incivility and immaturity that has dominated American political discourse hit home in a hail of bullets yet again. This isn't the first time (remember the church shootings last year, inspired by one of the right-wing morons?), and it's probably not going to be the last.

I'm a bit sick of it all.

The point is, so many of don't travel, don't explore and don't consider that maybe, just maybe, our way isn't the only way, and it shouldn't be the American Way or the highway.

Just a thought.

Now, this also got me to thinking about open relationships. (Yeah, I definitely have some form of ADD, but it's working for me.) I have never been a fan of them. My ex-husband wanted our marriage to be like that, and I said hell no, for a lot of reasons, some of them good and valid, some of them purely selfish and immature. On the selfish and immature side, I was incredibly insecure and jealous; competition was NOT happening, and any other woman he was interested in was competition--someone getting my piece instead of me. WEREN'T HAPPENIN'! On the valid side, well... I had no desire to end up with an STD, and honestly, Rick would stick his dick in anything that stopped long enough for him to whip it out. Because I was on chemical birth control, we didn't use anything else, and honestly... NO. I wasn't going to end up with my life destroyed because he fucked some skankrag and brought home an unwanted present.

How ironic is it that that is how I discovered he was fucking around? His condom supply had dwindled. At least he cared enough to keep it covered, eh?

Anyway, as I've gotten older and been faced with reality in its many forms, and found out that you can love someone and still fuck someone else (not me; I am sickenly monogamous when I'm with someone, even if I've been given permission to cheat--I'm such a bad liar and so forgetful, I can't juggle more than one lover if I have to actually be in a relationship with them). I won't say that I agree with infidelity or open relationships, but I understand at this point how it happens.

Internet sex is another poser in that realm. I know a number of people who get it on via the Interwebs, either using IM or email or text messages. None of them are physically stepping out on their partners, but there is still this other side...

I've really had to grapple with the ethics of this. On the one hand, I know that if it was my man, I would be PISSED. I mean, fucking furious and ready to snap his fingers. (Note, I said "ready to" NOT that I would do it. Contemplating violence is acceptable; committing violence is not.) On the other, how the hell does one person satisfy all of another person's needs? Is it really possible?

I'm really serious when I ask this question. I know the kind of stuff I fantasize about; I know how hardcore my desires can be. I also know that I am not willing to violate a partner's taboos for my own satisfaction. I've been in that position; when I was really young, it meant I ended up in situations that left permanent scars on my soul. When I got a little older, it meant that I was still manipulated and hurt and betrayed because I wouldn't negotiate. So there comes a point where I have to ask, is monogamy the right thing? And how do you define it?

I have no issue with porn. Seriously--I am all for it. Ditto for legalizing prostitution and making it an honorable profession. We have demonized sex stupidly, and it's a big part of the underlying problem in our society. The lack of acceptance of sexual desire and the classifying of anything beyond "normal" (i.e. missionary position sex) as deviant has caused more problems, and ditto, the demonization of homosexuality or anything beyond pure heterosexual relations.

So I'm just thinking about this. I don't know how I feel about it--I don't know if I could be in a physically open relationship (especially with my libido--I mean, I'm horny all the time; no way I'm sharing). But I think I'm ready to reconsider my views on the electronic side of things.

Just sayin'.

Blog Shog: I Finally Figured It Out

My issue with DumFux: they're whiners. Loud-mouthed, ignorant whiners, true, but whiners none the less.

See, I don't have a problem with other countries having a laugh at the U.S. We're a big country-we can take it. Well, we used to be able to take it. Now... *sigh*

Now, we need to put on our big kid pants & man up & start acting like adults again.

My two pennies.

Freud was Right About a Few Things

You think I don't understand about the white woman committing black adultery,
but I do. There was a lot of lynchings in Willicoochee, Georgia where I come
from when I was a boy. Willicoochee. White man say to his woman: "Baby, you are the flower of white Southern womanhood, too holy and pure to be touched by any man, including me. I'm gonna put you up on a pedestal so the whole world will
fall down and worship you. And if any nigger so much as look at you, I'll lynch
his ass."

She believed him, thought she really was holy and pure, like the Virgin Mary. She let him put her up on that pedestal. Meanwhile, the husband, no sooner than the sun went down down to the slave quarters grabbin' up every piece of black poontang he could lay his hands on, then running to the gin mill to brag about it. And that's how our blood got diluted mulattoes, quadroons, octoroons. I'm sure that most of those high and mighty white ladies felt abandoned. But they were so proud to be white, and therefore superior, they kept their mouths shut and their legs locked tight. But in the midnight hour, layin' there, alone, on the hot bed of lust, I'm sure they must've thought what it would be like to have one of them big, black bucks their husbands were so desperately afraid of. I feel sorry for you. Here it is the nineties, still tryin' to make up for what you missed out on. But I don't blame you.

As for the black man like my own son, Flipper, who ought to know better got a loving wife and daughter still got to fish in the white man's cesspool, I have nothing but contempt. - From Jungle Fever, a Spike Lee Joint

Can I just say how fucking glad I am that the Godsdamned election is over? I don't generally watch TV any more--too much utter garbage on the idiot box these days, I'd rather read a book, write a book, or watch a movie--but it was on in the other room on Monday night, and the commercials were non-stop (and all of them uncivil)! Driving through New Hampshire on Saturday, the roadside was littered with political signs. One of them almost made me drive off the road--some guy named Guinta (although at 85 MPH, the "i" was hard to see) was running for Congress. Yes, I had a Jim Jefferies moment (and in a bit of double irony, the bastard is a Republican, and sadly, won).

I didn't want to vote yesterday; there was no one I wanted to support, honestly (with the exception of Mike Capuano--who ran unopposed--and Martha Coakley; say what you will about her, as AG, she has got big brass balls and zero fear when it comes to taking down the bastards; she was on the team that went against the jackal Bernard Law and his posse of child abusers, and that's the real reason Scott Brown is in the Senate). Because of the whack job the Republican Governors Association put on Tim Cahill, the voters of Massachusetts were assured no decent choice in the election--either pick the incumbent scumbag or the Big Dig scumbag. After the mess the Republicans made of the state from Weld on up, I had to vote for Patrick just to be sure Baker didn't get in.

That is not making a choice, as far as I'm concerned. It was as bad as having to cast a vote for John Kerry (for whom I have zero respect--mush-mouth, hypocritical ass-kisser).

In short, I am NOT HAPPY.

What has bothered me the most are the attacks on the current president, Barack Obama. Now, I like Mr. O; I voted for him, not because he was the Democratic nominee, but because I actually have some faith in him. The problem is the rest of Washington. If ever there was a place that needed to be hit with a fast-moving plague, it's the U.S. capitol. It's the beast with a gajillion backs and a spiked dick, and it's the American people who are taking it in the ass. Mr. O is trying to make changes--the problem is that he's presiding over a nursery school filled with a bunch of ignorant, bigoted, selfish, squabbling retards.

Yes, I said RETARDS.

What swung my vote for Mr. O was the Frontline special that PBS ran on him and John McCain. Now, at one point in his history, when he was still legitimately an independent politician and hadn't sold his soul to the Right Wing and the rest of the fake conservatives, John McCain was a decent bipartisan politician. Eight years W and Dickhead poisoned him, and when he picked Alaska Barbie for his running mate... argh. Christ, that bimbo makes me embarrassed to have tits. (And any woman who voted for her just because Hilary lost and they wanted a woman in office needs a good, solid kick in the ass to knock their brains back into their heads. GROW THE FUCK UP!) The part of Mr. O's story that swung me was the bit on his election to the editorship of The Harvard Law Review: one of his African American friends from the time described how disappointed and upset many of his African American friends were at the time because, rather than putting all of his friends into positions at this most prestigious journal, instead, he put the people he felt would do the job best, regardless of color or viewpoint.

He chose people based on their ability and skills--NOT affiliation. This approach carried through to his presidency; instead of replacing the Secretary of Defense with a prominent Democrat, he kept Robert M. Gates in the position. Golly gee willikers, Dr. Bob, but that doesn't sound like the actions of a stupid man. Unlike his predecessor, of course, who put his lover in as Secretary of State and undid everything that Madeline Albright had accomplished. *slams head on the desk*

I'm sick of all the BS about Mr. O, and I've finally realized why people hate him so much and want to see him fail. It's because he's a Democrat; it's not about the color of his skin--it's about the color of his parents' skins.

The quote above comes from Jungle Fever, a film by Spike Lee. It deals with the affair between a white woman (played by Annabelle Sciorra) and a married black man (played by Wesley Snipes). Now, I have not seen the whole of this film--I happened to catch the bit quoted above one afternoon while channel surfing years ago. The monologue is delivered by the incredible, amazing, outstanding actor Ossie Davis--delivered with dignity and outrage and painful truth.

It's also an INCREDIBLY racist statement. This is one of the places where Spike Lee gets my respect--he doesn't let anyone off the hook, black or white, when it comes to racism. He knows that we are ALL guilty.

However, what the Good Reverend Purify does identify, and identify truthfully, is the real reason why Mr. O is so hated by the less enlightened of the world--the people trying to prove he's not really an American citizen, fer instance--and so many of the scared white men who scream about him on DumbFux--he is the result of the union described above, a "pure white woman" and a "big black buck."

Excuse me a mo--need to bleach my brain. I really hate what I just wrote. Even thinking about it makes me sick--the idea that people can be so utterly ignorant, that is.

In short, it's all about penis envy and denial--scared white men (all of whom would give a testicle for an hour with Mrs. O--a woman who is MY typical experience of African American women--intelligent, educated, funny, committed, tough as hell, and girrrlll, does she know how to dress!--and who would kick their cracker asses six ways to Sunday if they came within a foot of her) who see the result of a union that is an abomination in their eyes--something they have been conditioned against for generations--and who is the contradiction of all of the lies they've been taught.

Hypocrisy... utter hypocrisy. And the unwillingness to examine their prejudices and admit they just might have been wrong. The problem is that there are too many others sharing their fear and feeding it, and so the vicious cycle continues.

When I talk to people from other countries, the U.S.'s collective ignorance amazes them. No one outside of our borders understands how the hell ANY sane, intelligent human being could have cast a vote for W and Dickhead; ditto, McCain and Alaska Barbie. Canadians and Britons look at our elections and shake their heads--they know how insane their politicians are, but ours... yeah. Part of the problem is that too many Americans never go abroad; they never leave our borders and experience another culture, or if they do, they go in tour groups and are isolated from experiencing the culture and people they are visiting, and because America is so self-contained (or maintains the illusion of being self-contained), there's no reason to experience anywhere else.

The rest of the world is pretty damn fed up with our ignorance, folks. Especially considering the deadly toys we tote around and keep within our borders. It's like handing a heroin-addled schizophrenic teenager an arsenal--NOT a good idea. It's time to let go of the Ugly American and become citizens of the world. It's time to open our collective hearts and minds, and instead of condemning liberals, start working for the common good. "Ask not what your country can do for you..." as a wise man once said.

I'd like to see national service become mandatory immediately after high school. Make everyone give a year--whether in the military or the Peace Corps/AmeriCorps. Give something. Learn what it's like to be out in the world. Find out what goes on beyond your own little corner. Work before you go off to study and party. Know what happens when you have to pay your own bills, balance a check book, make your own appointments, take responsibility for your own actions--in short, cut the blades off of the helicopter parents and make citizens rather than spoiled brats.

(Forgive me if I seem like I selling all of our current crop of kids short--I'm not. I know a LOT of really wonderful, decent, responsible young adults who work hard and prove to me on a regular basis that there is hope for the future. However, they are outnumbered by the morons of the world. *slams head on the desk*)

See, I keep trying to listen to his opponents. I really have tried. I've tried to listen to the arguments from the other side. The problem is that no one is making any sense. No one is speaking sanely. It's not even rhetoric--it's propaganda, unfounded rumors, lies, and utter, complete bullshit. It's the kind of crap the Nazis spread about Jews during the Holocaust. Think I'm being melodramatic? Compare a birther speech to any of Hitler's propaganda about the Jews--you'll see the similarities and hear the common notes. It's the same shit that

It's hate speech, and so much of it is being spouted by so-called good Christians. *spits* Excuse me, Xtians. Christians walk the walk; Xtians just yap a lot of bullshit and do as they please. Alaska Barbie is a good example of this. How anyone could cast a vote for a ticket with something that stupid as the running mate... *shakes head* And you knew McCain was kicking himself in the ass for selling out. He'll never get another run--he blew it too badly this time. Who would elect someone who'd sell his soul just to be President of the United States?

Of course, there's rumors that Shitt Romney, the poster boy for the Mormons, is gearing up for his run. *rolls eyes* Just what this country needs: another religious nutjob in the oval office. I wonder who they'll get to pull his strings?

Christ, this is depressing me.

Next post will be about something funny. Or sex. Which can be pretty damn funny.

I Wanna Be a Canadian

How's it goin', eh, and happy Thanksgiving to everyone north of the border!

I'm currently ensconced on the couch in Vicki's living room--my home-away-from-hell--lappie on my thigh, foot on the coffee table, enjoying another beautiful fall day in Nova Scotia.

All of the stores (except for the convenience stores) are closed; people are either having dinner with their families today or on the way home from dinner (for those with families in different parts of the Maritimes and the rest of Canada), and it's just a lovely, quiet day.

No football on the telly--THAT is a happy thing, and such a change from the Hallmark-holiday that Thanksgiving has become at home, the tryptophan coma before the Xmas shopping madness known as Black Friday.

I'm fairly disgusted with my homeland and have been since November 7, 1980 when I swore out loud for the first time in my life without caring who heard when I opened the door to head out for school and read the headline that Ronnie Raygun had been elected president. I mean, we were in the shitter long before then, but, Christ... I mean, I was 13. I knew he was full of shit and Carter was being fucked with a spiked stick by the Republican party (and it was proved later on that George Bush and company set that poor bastard up--he got left with Nixon & Ford's mess, did his best, and got fucked by the Republican propaganda machine. They had learned after the Kennedys and MLK that assassination was a bad idea. I think he's had the last laugh). Now people are trying to canonize him. I mean, I remember Reagan: he was an IDIOT. A MORON. He made no sense and talked out of his ass--I can't believe people were surprised about the Alzheimer's.

How many people know or remember that Reagan started out as a Demoncrat and switched parties when he couldn't get elected?

I may be one of the few people from my generation NOT nostalgic for the 80's. I remember the 80's. John Hughes's films were cool, some of the music was the balls, SOME of the fashions were cool, but for the most part, the 80's sucked ass. All the shit that's going on now--the massive poverty, homelessness, veteran's issues, political corruption... right now, watching the news is like watching a bad rerun of the 80's, except the weapons are uglier, and it's our asses on the line in Afghanistan, not the Soviets.

Oh, yeah--and the Rolling Stones STILL haven't fucking retired (GIVE IT UP, YOU OLD FUCKS!!!! YOU'VE TURNED INTO THE MOULDERING BONES!), and Aerosmith needs to.

No one is afraid of nuclear war (although they should be), but everyone is afraid of environmental disaster. Too late. Not only has the horse left the barn on that one, the damn barn's been burned to the ground. Cocaine has made a comeback (maybe it never left; I wouldn't know, I've always been scared SHITLESS of the stuff); you don't hear much about crack, but then there's crystal meth. And heroin. Although I don't think heroin ever really faded. I wonder, though, with the war in Afghanistan, if we're going to see a resurgence of opium dens. I know it's not as easy to smuggle as it was back in the Vietnam era, but there's always a way for a determined businessman. (No, I'm not interested--my drug use extends to the occasional bit of weed [a pinch of hash in there is OK, too, so long as I don't have to drive any time in the next twenty-four hours; that shit is POW'FUL!], and I'm good. I'm old; it doesn't take much to fuck me up.)

There's no such thing as a free election, anywhere--it's finally dawned on most of America that the game is rigged and was from the beginning. The corporations own Washington, the bureaucracy has grown so monolithically huge that there is nothing short of a fast-moving, 99% lethal (Captain Trips, anyone?) that can clean up that cesspit.

In short, we're fucked.

I've been coming up to Canada for about seven years now; I hit Nova Scotia twice a year to hang with my best friend and other friends. I love it in Nova Scotia--it's like stepping back in time about twenty or thirty years in terms of attitude. People aren't so fucking uptight and self-involved. There's actually a sense of community.

I'm ready to repatriate (if McCain and Palin had won, I'd have asked for political asylum). There is a part of me that wishes New England had seceeded back during the War of 1812; the economic power of the Maritimes would be VERY different if we had. Times are not easy here, economically--highest taxes in Canada, poorest earners. The Maritime provinces have also suffered the greatest loss of soldiers in the Afghanistan War (contrary to what most Americans thinks, we ARE NOT fighting over there alone; there's a reason Canada and the UK aren't too happy with us. When we went unjustifiably into Iraq, we left our allies' asses hanging in the breeze. There's a special place in Hell waiting for W & Cheney. With extra boiling oil and BBQ sauce). Like the US, for many folks, the military is the only place to get a job. The difference is the ethnic make-up--there are a lot of educated, white people in the Canadian military.

I'm not going to start sharing stories from the Canadian Forces--I've heard enough of the bitching from folks--but I will say this: Canadian soldiers don't lose three rifles in one year. Yeah. Wanna know where the military stuff on the black market is coming from? *whistles*

One last thing about the Canadian Forces: you want to know how Veteran's Day is supposed to be celebrated? Come to Canada (or at least, Nova Scotia): the whole damn province shuts down for the day to celebrate Remembrance Day and pay tribute to those who have given their lives for their country. It's a somber, moving day--at 11:00 a.m., there is a moment of silence. "In Flanders Field" is read (on the pop music station, for fuck's sake). The sacrifice is honored, and not with car sales.

Prices are high up here. I hear one more fucking American bitch about the price of gas, I'm going to smack them right upside the head. On Thursday night, I went out to refuel the Blue Bomber because gas prices change at midnight; they sell gas by the litre up here (roughly four litres to a gallon). The price jumped from $1.04 to $1.10 PER LITRE. The equation looks like this: 4 x 1.04 = $4.16 PER GALLON. I paid $2.50 per gallon when I filled up in Boston before I left.

Yeah. And it's even higher in Europe. We have NOTHING to bitch about at home.

And I think that's why I'm ready to leave. I love my home--I love living in Boston and having the world at my fingertips. I haven't stopped loving the Constitution and believing in the Bill of Rights. I'm sick and freakin' tired of the idiots and their false, flag-waving patriotism. The slogan, "America-love it or leave it!" is the antithesis of the the spirit of the Constitution. And most of these idiots don't have a clue about history, American or otherwise. Of course, they don't teach proper history in school, so how the hell would any of tghem have a context in which to place our current state of affairs?

What I can't stand at this point are other Americans. Somehow, in the last 50 years, we've gone from being a hard-working, reponsible, committed people to being the biggest spoiled, entitled brats on the fucking planet. We want it all, we want it now, and who fucking cares if it gets paid for on time? The world OWES US.

No, it fucking well doesn't. Like it or lump it, we are all one race of people--we're all human. Doesn't matter what color you are, who you call God (or if you even believe in a Higher Power), if you've been kidnapped by aliens of the saucer or pick-up truck variety, which way you vote, YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING. You end up in a hospital, so long as the blood type matches, it doesn't matter where the donor is from or what they look like. I'm sick and tired of being embarrassed to be American when I go abroad--of having to apologize for the idiots on the TV who make the rest of us look like morons, whether it's our heavily censored, ridiculously biased news they're seeing, our crap TV shows, or even crappier movies. And we won't talk about some of the music... *slams head on the desk*

I realize that I'm lucky--I work in an oasis of liberals, the People's Republic of Cambridge. As much as I bitch about the hippy dippy crunchberries I'm surrounded by, I am profoundly thankful for them because at least I know not everyone is going to vote Republican. I don't know if I'm going to my high school reunion; I'm afraid of being lynched for still being a Democrat, and when I hear the line of reasoning... I have to shake my head. I'm the fucking Neopagan--I'm the witch. I live a far more Christian life than the church-goers, and I don't even believe in the divinity of Christ. Boggles the mind.

I am afraid of my country. That's the reality of it. I am afraid of the hysteria that's brewing, the tension, the silliness, the utter lack of anything that resembles sense, and the fact that people accept it.

Makes me crazy.

So I'm ready to repatriate--I had three great-grandparents come from up here; if it had been my grandparents, I'd be all set. I'm ready for a change.